The Power of ‘I Don’t Know’: Why Great Leaders Ask Before They Answer
Let’s get something straight: just because you can jump to an answer doesn’t mean you should.
We’ve all been there. You’ve been around the block and seen this scenario before, and you know exactly how this is going to play out. Your brain is already 10 steps ahead of your team, forming a solution before the other person finishes their sentence. You might think a dangerous thought – “It’ll be faster if I just do it myself.”
I’ve been there so many times I could start selling been-there-done-that t-shirts. But here’s the truth: experience is only as helpful as your willingness to question it.
That’s where the “Not-Knowing” skill comes in.
Knowing Doesn’t Equal Helping
If you’ve been leading teams long enough, you’ve developed pattern recognition. That’s a good thing… until it isn’t. When we’re too quick to connect the dots, we risk missing nuance, dismissing others’ input, and unintentionally shutting down collaboration.
Just because something looks like a situation you’ve seen before, doesn’t mean it is the same.
Relying on what you know – without stopping to understand what’s new – is a great way to kill innovation and erode trust. And if you’re trying to lead a high-performing team, that’s a real problem.
What Is ‘Not-Knowing’ Mode, Anyway?
Not-knowing mode isn’t about being clueless. It’s about choosing to suspend your assumptions so you can truly understand what’s in front of you. You’re not ignoring your expertise – you’re setting it aside long enough to learn something.
It’s going into a conversation like a sponge: curious, open, and ready, and wanting to be surprised. Not-knowing mode requires humility, patience, and a willingness to listen without needing to fix.
It sounds counterintuitive, especially in a business culture that rewards fast answers and hot takes. But it’s how great leaders create space for others to contribute – and grow.
How to Practice Not-Knowing (Without Losing Your Mind)
This may seem unclear or daunting, but here’s a place to start learning more about Not-Knowing:
Be present: Put your phone down or computer away and look people in the eye, and actually listen to what they have to say.
Stay curious: Assume that you don’t have all the context. Ask yourself, “Can you tell me more?” or “What do you think might work?”
Hold Back the Answer: Even if you think you know the answer, hold it back and let the conversation evolve over time.
Practice Patience: The goal isn’t to get it done fastest (usually) – it’s to get it done the best.
When you operate from not-knowing, you open the door to better questions, deeper understanding, and more effective solutions.
Better Results Start with Better Listening
Leadership isn’t about always having the right answer – it’s about creating the conditions where the right answers can surface.
By practicing not-knowing, you’re not just solving the problem in front of you – you’re helping your team build the confidence and muscle memory to solve the next one. Participating in active listening has been proven to not only create better leaders, but better workplaces too. It can improve your team’s sense of job security, resolve conflicts, and so much more.
When you’re listening and not always knowing, this is the leadership that sticks and creates real change within your organization.
So the next time you’re tempted to say, “I’ve got this,” pause. Take a breath. And ask a question instead.
You might be surprised by what you don’t know – and how much better things turn out because of it.
Listen to Lee’s podcast episode here!