You’re Not Listening – and Everyone Knows It

I think  it’s fair to say that most people are terrible at listening. Not because they’re checked out or trying to be rude, but because they’re focused on answering, not responding. And it shows.

If you’ve ever felt steamrolled in a meeting, brushed off when raising a concern, or like your boss just didn’t get what you were saying, you’re not alone. And here’s the kicker: you’ve probably done it to someone else, too. We all have.

So let’s talk about it! If you want better results at work, better relationships with your team, and better communication overall, it starts here and now – with active listening.

Communication: The Skill Everyone Needs But Few Do Well

Communication is the #1 skill listed on job descriptions across every role, industry, and pay grade. According to Indeed, it shows up 32% of the time, and the next most-cited skill doesn’t even break 20%. Why? Because no one assumes you’re actually good at it.

The truth? If you can’t communicate, you get nothing. No promotions. No collaboration. No clarity. Nothing.

The workplace is full of examples where bad communication gets in the way –  the corporate talk side of TikTok has thousands of cringy and “entertaining” examples. . It doesn’t matter if you’re an engineer, a customer success manager, a line worker, or the CEO – if you can’t clearly connect with people, you’re going to struggle.

Active Listening: The First Step to Better Communication

Let’s start at the top: active listening isn’t just hearing the words coming out of someone’s mouth. It’s listening to understand, so the person talking knows you’re listening to understand.

That kind of listening builds trust, creates clarity, and gets things done. The opposite? We all know what that sounds like:

• “We’re all busy. Just get it done.”

• “That won’t work. We’ve already tried it.”

• “It’s in the email. Didn’t you read it?”

Those responses don’t create a connection – they shut it down. Whether you’re the boss or the newest person on the team, if you’re not listening to understand, you’re doing damage to morale, productivity, and your own credibility.

Flip the Script: What Active Listening Actually Sounds Like

You don’t need a degree in counseling to be a better listener. You just need to slow down and be present. 

Instead of brushing someone off, say: “That sounds rough – can you walk me through what’s on your plate so we can figure out how to manage it better?”

Instead of defaulting to “we already discussed it,” try: “You raise a good point – can you share more about the challenges you’re seeing so we can talk them through?”

Instead of “did you read the manual?” say: “I’m sorry to hear that. Can you tell me more about what’s happening so I can help?”

You’re not committing to anything. You’re just showing you care enough to listen and understand. That changes the dynamic immediately and opens the door for real solutions.

The Payoff: Better Culture, Better Work, Better Results

When people feel heard, they perform better. Full stop. 

They’re less stressed, more engaged, and trust their manager and each other. That translates into fewer mistakes, stronger teams, higher productivity, and better business outcomes. This isn’t just about feelings – it’s about results, and even the most curmudgeonly bean counter can see the ROI of that. 

If you’re in a leadership role, you have the responsibility to set the tone. If you’re not modeling active listening, no one else will either. Communication isn’t just about what’s said – it’s about how it’s said and how it makes people feel. That part sticks. 

Make Listening Your Default

Active listening is simple, but not necessarily easy. It takes considerable effort, presence, and practice. It means putting your phone down, making eye contact, and actually focusing on the person in front of you (or on the other end of a Zoom call). No Slack pings. No multitasking. No fake “uh huhs.”
When someone brings you a problem, it’s not just a task – it’s a moment. A chance to show that you’re engaged and present, you value their time, and that you’re willing to listen first before reacting.

And when you do? You’ll be amazing at how much smoother everything runs. 

So, put the phone down. Look your people in the eye. And actually listen.

Listen to Lee’s podcast episode here!